The Roller Coaster Ride

Well every nurse, doctor and preemie parent I have met has warned me of this "roller coaster" ride called NICU. Yesterday we had such a high, and today I hit such a low. After talking to the doctor today, she confirmed that the results from the ultrasound yesterday showed that all the blood is gone. But it also showed that there was an area of brightness on her brain tissue. I don't remember exactly how the doctor said it, it was pretty much a haze, I wanted to break down. Something about they will do a MRI before she goes home and will let us know what that means then. I asked what that meant and she said it could mean a brain injury and there was some talk about a cyst. After the dr left my mind was racing. I asked Briella's nurse what exactly a brain injury was, like is Cerebral Palsy a brain injury? She replied that I just need to wait until the MRI and they will explain more then. I have googled and googled an can't figure out what the bright spots on the ultrasound could mean. I think I will press for possible answers tomorrow. As always, Brian is calm and just says there is nothing to stress about, we'll just have to wait and see.

After the doctor told me about the bright areas, I asked how her murmur sounded. She said, with a regretful look, that it is not as soft as it was yesterday. But it did sound somewhat softer than last week.

Briella lost 10 grams and is 1lb 14oz. They are going to try this week to take her off CPAP and move her to nasal cannula (just a regular oxygen with no pressure help to keep her lungs open!)

I learned my lesson of getting my emotions so high. Hopefully I can wake up tomorrow with more strength and hope than I have tonight. The highlight of my day is being able to kangaroo with her. I usually get to hold her at least 2.5 hours a day.

Please enjoy the pictures below. My mom captured them during Briella's head massage she gets every 3 hrs. They remove all of the mask and massage so it doesn't irritate the skin so much. The picture with her eyes closed just makes me want to cuddle up with her and kiss her all night long.

Please continue to pray that her PDA closes, she gains weight, and is healthy and happy.