I Tried to Tell Them!

When I was taken off the magnesium yesterday I was still contracting. They were slowed to about every 10-15 min. I just tried to stay so still all day but they grew closer. By dinner time they were painful. I had asked for relief & they again gave me anxiety meds. By 8pm I was begging them for a pain reliever. I was cussing, crying & in what I told them felt like child bearing pains. They told me my uterus was just irritated from bleeding causing mini contractions but they weren't real because they weren't 50 seconds long. Mine were 40 seconds long. I was finally approved for newbane (sp?) & that immediately took the edge off. I was looking forward to watching a show on tv with Brian & hoping to get some rest. Within 15 min I called nurse again & told her while the pain is more manageable with the drug (which makes you feel loopy) I was climbing back up to an 8 on a pain scale. They kept asking me questions like "okay so your pain has doubled since we last asked you?!" I felt like they thought I was just trying to get the drugs. I reached another level of pain I couldn't take. I was begging them to help me. Screaming out loud "help me" over & over with every contraction. They had given me a 2nd dose of newbane. Brian was not too sure what to think. All day nurses had told us I would just be dealing with pain from my irritated uterus that causes painful mini contractions so not to get concerned. Use a heating pad.
Everything went kind of fast from there. I was holding a towel down there because I was afraid of hemorrhaging again. I said something is not right. I want the Dr to come to the hospital. The dr told them via phone to put me back on the magnesium. I started to not just have unbearable contractions, the worst pain I have & hopefully will ever go through, but I started feeling down there that it wasn't right. I repeated myself that it wasn't ok & that I needed an epidural. I said I wanted to be taken for a c section. I was finally told that the on call trauma dr Would come do an emergency c section. I said I needed the anesthesiologist quick. I waited in pain for about 10-15 minutes, thinking I was dying. I was so scared for myself. I knew I couldn't have her vaginally due to the previa. It would cause me to hemorrhage. I told them I was going to die of a heart attack from the pain. About that time the nurse hit some special button & next thing I know they are wheeling in a baby bed. Lots of nurses were in the room & a couple drs. I kept taking off my oxygen & yelling help me! I need the anesthesiologist!! I need my pain gone! Someone help me. I told them she was coming & they were screaming not to push. I couldn't hold her in. It hurt soooo bad not to push. Once the dr examined me I heard him tell the nurse that she is right there. He told me my baby was in trouble & I needed to push her out. Brian who was behind me, told me I had to push. I could hear he was so scared. I just pushed, they told me to stop, then told me to push again & I felt a relief. It was the best feeling in the world. At that point I just became instantly calm. I was overwhelmed by a since of peace. I knew God had his arms wrapped around me & that my girl was a fighter. She was born in her sac. My water never broke. They took her out & had to cut her out of the sac. They said she tried to breathe on her own but then they lost her. They gave her some medicine & she pinked right up. Her skin was great. She looked just like a normal baby-just really small. Eyes shut.
We both got to be with her in her NICU pod where she's in an incubator. She was doing great. She was moving her feet & hands. She likes to grasp onto things.
I know that there will be setbacks all the time & maybe even daily. But I also know that God's will is to be done. She is strong enough she WILL make it. I am so proud of her. Our little miracle.