23 weeks 2 days

I have made it through 5 nights. I have no clue how. I feel like everyday I have lived second to second in terror. I am an emotional wreck. I'm scared to move. I've lost my appetite. Each decision that is made I second guess. This morning I asked the dr if that since I have made it this far if she thinks my odds are better to making until Wednesday & she said no. She said they are hopeful but very cautious.
Wed I will be 23 weeks 5 days & that's when they will fight for baby after delivery. That's when I'll be moved to a different hospital. It's so hard not to just give up. My body is fighting against me. I have a ridiculous amount of ailments that make me want to pull out my hair. And it seems to add on daily. I just try to remind myself that in a month my body will feel better. I am not feeling up to visitors. I get so scared with every feeling that something is about to happen. And I'm way embarrassed to have that happen in front of anyone. My mom has been here when stuff starts to go wrong & I even send her out of the room until I'm stable. I also worry about Brian. I'm so afraid of being by myself at night bc if something is to happen it will go quickly and I don't want to be alone. So Brian has slept on a hard couch every night. He doesn't feel the best, or eat well. I'm not looking forward to being far away from home at a different hospital. Just means ill be alone more.
Please pray to give us strength & that things calm down & give us another couple weeks. At this point every day is so very important. Briellas life depends on days. I so want to bring her home to her cute lil room so that she can be just as spoiled as Aubrey.
And pray that Aubrey is okay since she basically has been removed from her home life. I know she is in great hands & is close to me for now.
Edited at 8pm- contractions have started again :(